Event Icebreakers

Casual Openers

Low-pressure ways to start a conversation:

• "Is this your first time at [venue/event]? What do you think so far?"
• "I love your [outfit/accessory]! Where did you find it?"
• "The energy in here is great tonight. How are you enjoying it?"
• "I'm [name], by the way. Are you here with anyone?"
• "Have you tried the [drinks/food] here? Any recommendations?"
• "What brought you out tonight?"
• "Do you come to these events often?"

Getting to Know Someone

Questions that show genuine interest:

• "What do you do for fun when you're not at events like this?"
• "How did you get into the lifestyle/ENM?"
• "What's your favorite thing about this community?"
• "Are you more of a [local clubs] person or do you travel for events?"
• "What's been your best experience at an event like this?"
• "Do you have a favorite type of event—house parties, clubs, takeovers?"

For Couples Meeting Couples

• "How long have you two been together? You have great energy."
• "We're [names]. How long have you been in the lifestyle?"
• "What made you decide to explore this together?"
• "Do you have a favorite event or venue?"
• "We're pretty new to this—any tips for navigating [this venue/the scene]?"

Deeper Connection Questions

For when conversation is flowing and you want to go deeper:

• "What does a great connection look like for you?"
• "What are you hoping to experience tonight?"
• "What turns you on most—physically or emotionally?"
• "Is there something you've always wanted to try but haven't yet?"
• "What do you find most attractive in a person?"
• "How do you like to build connection before playing?"

Gauging Interest Respectfully

• "I'm really enjoying talking to you. Would you be interested in [dancing/grabbing a drink/finding a quieter spot to chat]?"
• "There's definitely some chemistry here. What are you looking for tonight?"
• "I'd love to continue this conversation. How do you feel about exchanging contacts?"
• "No pressure at all, but would you be open to exploring more tonight?"
• "What would make tonight perfect for you?"

Graceful Exits

Not every conversation leads somewhere, and that's okay:

• "It was really nice meeting you! I'm going to mingle a bit more."
• "I promised I'd check in with my partner. Great chatting with you!"
• "Thanks for the conversation—enjoy the rest of your night!"
• "I'm going to grab [a drink/some air]. Maybe I'll see you around later!"

What NOT to Say