ENMHub

New Partner Discussion Guide

Conversation Framework for "The Talk"

When to Have This Conversation

Ideally before you're emotionally or physically intimate. Being upfront about your ENM status respects everyone's time and allows for informed consent. This guide helps you prepare for and navigate that important conversation.

Part 1: Preparation

How do I describe my relationship style in one sentence?

My current relationship situation:

What I'm looking for in new connections:

Important boundaries or limitations they should know:

Part 2: The Disclosure Script

Opening

"Before we go further, there's something important I want to share with you. I practice ethical non-monogamy..."

Explain Your Structure

"What this looks like for me is [your specific situation]. I have [describe current partners/relationships] and I'm [open to/looking for] [type of connection]."

Address Consent

"Everyone involved knows about and consents to this arrangement. I wanted to be upfront with you so you can decide if this is something you're comfortable with."

Invite Questions

"I'm happy to answer any questions you have. What are your initial thoughts or concerns?"

Part 3: Common Questions to Prepare For

Write out your answers so you're not caught off guard:

"Does your partner know about this?"

"What if they get jealous?"

"Where would I fit into this?"

"What are your rules/boundaries?"

"Is this just about sex?"

Part 4: Questions to Ask Them

Information gathering for compatibility:

"What's your experience with or understanding of ENM?"
"What are you looking for in connections right now?"
"What are your relationship goals?"
"Is there anything about this that makes you uncomfortable?"
"What questions do you have for me?"
"Would you want to meet my partner(s) at some point?"

Part 5: Red and Green Flags

Green Flags

Asks thoughtful questions
Respects your existing relationships
Wants to understand, not change you
Has their own research/experience
Clear about what they want
Doesn't pressure for exceptions

Red Flags

"I'll make you want only me"
Dismisses your partner's feelings
Pressures for "just us" time only
Won't acknowledge other relationships
Wants you to hide them
Ultimatums early on