Relationship Structures Guide
Visual Reference for ENM Configurations
Common ENM Structures
Vee (V)
One person (the "hinge" - B) has two partners (A and C) who are not romantically involved with each other. The hinge manages two separate relationships and communication between all parties.
Best for: People who want multiple independent relationships; partners who prefer parallel polyamory.
Triad / Throuple
Three people who are all in romantic/sexual relationships with each other. Each dyad (A-B, B-C, A-C) is a relationship, plus the triad dynamic as a whole.
Best for: People who want interconnected relationships; those who value group dynamics and kitchen table polyamory.
Quad
Four people with varying relationship configurations. Can be fully connected (everyone dates everyone) or have specific connections (e.g., two couples who swap partners).
Best for: Swinging couples who form ongoing connections; polycules that naturally expand to four.
Solo Polyamory
Person A maintains their autonomy as their own "primary" while having multiple partners. No one partner has more say than others, and A doesn't seek a nesting/primary partner.
Best for: People who prioritize independence; those who don't want cohabitation or relationship escalator expectations.
Relationship Styles Compared
| Style | Focus | Typical Setup |
|---|---|---|
| Polyamory | Multiple loving relationships | Emotional + sexual connections with multiple partners |
| Swinging | Recreational sex as couple | Couple-centered, sex with others, emotional bond reserved |
| Open Relationship | Primary + outside connections | One main relationship, dating/sex with others |
| Relationship Anarchy | No hierarchy or labels | Each connection defined individually, no rules |
| Monogamish | Mostly monogamous | Committed couple with occasional exceptions |
Hierarchy Styles
Hierarchical
- Primary, secondary, tertiary partners
- Clear priority levels
- Primary may have veto rights
- Resources allocated by hierarchy
Non-Hierarchical
- No formal ranking of partners
- Decisions based on situation
- No veto power
- Each relationship unique
Metamour Interaction Styles
Kitchen Table
Everyone is comfortable spending time together. Metamours may be friends, share meals, attend events together.
Parallel
Metamours have minimal or no direct interaction. Partners maintain separate relationships that don't intersect.