Polyamory

Polyamory Basics

Understand overlapping love, partner agreements, and the skill of nurturing metamour relationships.

7 min readCommunity & support
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What makes polyamory distinct

Polyamory emphasises love and emotional connection, not just sexual exploration. It can be hierarchical or non-hierarchical, solo or partnered.

Every polycule writes its own map. What matters is honest disclosure and everyone choosing the structure knowingly.

  • HierarchicalPrimary partners share big decisions; secondary partners join with agreed boundaries.
  • Non-hierarchicalPartners negotiate needs case by case without ranking importance.
  • Solo polyIndividuals prioritise autonomy, often living separately while holding multiple committed ties.

Design your constellation

Sketch how partners intersect: who meets whom, what information travels, and which commitments are shared.

Document expectations for holidays, emergencies, financial support, and conflict navigation.

  • Create a relationship map showing each connection and desired transparency level.
  • List the decisions that require input from all partners.
  • Establish how new partners are introduced and what consent looks like for everyone.

Calendars and capacity

Time is a core love language. Use shared calendars, priority weeks, or colour-coded blocks to prevent accidental scarcity.

Budget emotional bandwidth. When life spikes, consider pausing new dates or renegotiating commitments.

  • Hold quarterly planning sessions to stack-rank events, anniversaries, and retreats.
  • Signal when you are at capacity so others can offer support rather than assume disinterest.
  • Keep personal downtime sacred; depletion erodes goodwill quickly.

Metamour care

You do not need to be best friends, but you do need to be civil. Default to kindness, consent, and curiosity.

Use metamour meetings to share expectations, compare notes on aftercare, and flag any boundaries that must be respected.

  • Share pronouns, preferred names, and any social media boundaries.
  • Clarify how information flows during conflicts and who mediates.
  • Celebrate wins: congratulate metamours on milestones and show visible respect.

Quick actions

  • Build a shared calendar and invite partners with the right visibility levels.
  • Draft a metamour FAQ covering logistics, health protocols, and communication styles.
  • Schedule a quarterly constellation review to protect capacity and celebrate progress.

Continue learning

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