Structures

Comparing ENM Relationship Structures

Learn how open relationships, swinging, polyamory, relationship anarchy, and kitchen-table models differ.

6 min readCommunity & support
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Core models at a glance

There is no universal ENM blueprint. Use labels as communication tools, not cages.

  • Open relationshipPrimary pair keeps emotional exclusivity but allows external sexual connections.
  • SwingingShared experiences with others, often together, focusing on recreational play.
  • PolyamoryMultiple romantic relationships where love and partnership can overlap.
  • Relationship anarchyRejects hierarchy; each relationship is negotiated without default roles.
  • Kitchen-table polyMetamours socialise comfortably, sharing meals or holidays together.

Hybrid and evolving approaches

Many constellations blend styles: a couple might swing together while each maintains a separate romantic connection.

Expect structures to shift when new partners arrive, kids enter the picture, or careers change. Flexibility is a feature.

  • When trying a new structure, treat the first 90 days as a pilot with explicit feedback loops.
  • Share what the label covers and what it does not. For example, "Open with solo dating, but travel flings require check-ins."

Questions to keep alignment

Labels matter less than shared understanding. Use these prompts to stay synced.

  • What does intimacy mean in each structure for us?
  • How do we introduce new partners socially?
  • What makes us feel most secure while trying this configuration?

Quick actions

  • Write a glossary for your household so labels and expectations match.
  • Set a reminder every 60 days to confirm the structure still fits everyone.
  • Invite metamours to co-create etiquette guidelines that reflect your chosen model.

Continue learning

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